Bowser

''"What are you stupid uglies rambling on about? I haven't seen the Princess at all! I was at my castle eating Big Macs!" -Bowser, Mario & Luigi: The False Adventure.''



Bowser is a fat, ugly dude who is a bad guy from Mario. He is also the most awesome villain ever. Sadly, he is too stupid to be super evil.

Childhood
Bowser had a standard childhood. He ate cookies and wet his diaper. One day, his daddy, Kamek, met a fellow with a baby of his own (aka Mario). The babies had a playdate. Mario blew rasberry at Bowser. Bowser got 'teed off and hit Mario with his rattle. An epic rattle battle unfolded. Mario was victorious. Kamek told Mario's dad that he raised Mario terribly. And so, the Marios and Bowsers never got along.



Sometime when he turned 5, he went to Kindergarten at Little Mushroom Elementary. He was in Mrs. Fatsotode's class. Sadly, Mario was in the same class. Bowser recognized him immediatley and threw some fingerpaint at Mario. And so, an epic fingerpaint war unfolded. Bowser was expelled on his first day of school. And so, Kamek opened Kamek Koopa's Koopa Elementary and taught Bowser and his only friend, Mr. Rock, to read, write, and count.

After 5 years, Bowser got to go to a real middle school at Bob Toader Juinor High. Once again, Mario was in most of his classes (Mario and Bowser did not have the same Gym, Science, or Racial Stereotyping classes). While there, he fell in love with a human girl named Peach. At the Graduation Ball, Bowser asked Peach out, but Peach slapped him and dated Mario. Bowser was sad.

Bowser went to high school at Bighead Shroom High. It was a little like middle school, only harder. This time, Mario was in each of Bowser's classes except for Spanish, Math, and (yet again) Racial Stereotyping. At the Junior Prom, Bowser asked Peach out again. Then she hit him with a hammer and dated Mario again.

Bowser decided to skip college since he didn't want more of Mario. He decided to take over the Mushroom Kingdom for revenge against man and mushroom kind. He got married to someone named Clawdia Koopa. They had 7 kids. Then one day, they had an argument over where to have their anniversary dinner. Two days later, they had another child and divorced. Bowser decided to stay single for his whole life.

Appearances
Man, writing that section was hard! I'm too tired to write another descriptive section. But I will!

Bowser appeared in every Mario game since Super Mario Bros. Sometimes he did evil stuff like kidnapping Peach and overtaking galaxies. Other times, he did dumb stuff like trying to own all the worlds pie or taking over McDonalds. Some people feel sorry for him sometimes. Others don't.